vision

DAY 1

ever wondered what is your purpose?

three years ago i started consciously asking the question. i verbalized it & the response i got from my inner circle was...

i'm here to glorify god, to show forth his splendour
to make a difference in the world
to be a mother & raise my children
to be a care giver
to get rid of the ego, to become more spiritual
to get anther chance at doing it right this time
karma pay back, punishment for your past sins or blessing for your good deeds
to teach others by your wisdom
and on and on...

nothing i heard, or thought, or read satisfied me.

this week i had the privilege of having several conversations with wonderful individuals who took the time to share with me. who brought their spot light into our conversation & enabled me for the first time to find a voice to say what i had been trying to for so long. this rocketed me into the space of my journey.  dewald,adel, charl, nic, pierre, mark, thank you for you!

my revelation is this (just for the now, i know there will be more): people bring us brightly wrapped packages, gifts, they call them. here is a gift for you, an answer, a solution, a way out. take it, they say, & may it go well with you. goodbye. i don't know what this is, they didn't say, they don't know either. someone gave it to them & they passed it on to me. i have to open it, but like the others i'm scared. what if it's empty, or blows up in my face, or isn't what i'd hoped it would be, or i don't know how to use it, or even worse, i drop it & it breaks? no, it's much safer left alone. the package is violently ignored. but wait! someone happens, they come along, a ray of light breaks through the clouds, & for a moment a spark ignites a tiny rainbow & then it disappears. then someone else happens, & the rainbow light stays longer. i realize i have enough courage now to move toward the thing, face my fear & open the gift that was so brutally ignored, even despised. the journey is not in the recognition from others, but in the recognition of ones self.